Those Homeless People

Since yesterday, I have been really troubled by something.  I woke up this morning and my thoughts kept drifting towards a black homeless guy that approached me and a friend yesterday as we chatted outside a store in Tyler.  He was showing me some kind of re-loadable card from Domino's Pizza and needed me to read it - apparently (I think) in hopes that maybe he could get some food out of the deal.

Well, I think I was so into my conversation with my friend that I had missed something very, very important.  It's almost embarrassing because we had, ironically, been discussing such profound topics...... the two homeless people who randomly showed up for church Sunday and how we wouldn't need big government if the Church was doing it's job is, blah, blah, blah.......... 

But it wasn't until the following morning (today) that it all hit me - between the eyes and deep in my heart. I was on my way to a morning  Bible study in Lindale led by Teresa Hallock (who is 90 years old) based on her book entitled He First Loved Us.  Although I was trying to prepare my heart for leading worship, for some reason, my thoughts drifted again to this homeless black man.  And as I drove, I was overwhelmed with unexpected sorrow mixed with regret.  I just could not stop crying......but I knew these were good tears. 

 I realized I had missed a major opportunity to step out in faith and maybe speak a word of hope - not from my heart, but from God's.  I have been learning this "living in the moment" thing and walking by the Spirit from Teresa, my "spiritual mom", who, to me, is the epitome of unconditional love.  But most importantly, learning to love people right where they are at - regardless of circumstances or how messy their lives are.  Believe me, mine was one heck of a mess when I first met Teresa.  

And after sitting under her for a few years, I am learning that God's love does truly heal and that I matter to Him - even when others stop caring.  And from that place of believing, rest and peace -  we are to be His conduit of love to a dying world; often the only Jesus that some people will ever encounter. But it is His presence in us, not so much what we do - that changes lives.

We enter His rest (Hebrews) when we begin to fully believe this and cease from striving and trying to prove ourselves worthy......

Interestingly,  I and another friend had the opportunity to hang out with the homeless couple (mentioned above) Sunday between services and really enjoyed getting to know them and hearing their stories - despite the fact that they looked like hell - and somewhat smelled like it. The Lord does provide - in the form of peace and His presence - which is so incredibly more powerful than anything I could say or do. They left with tears in their eyes - not just because of the food in their bellies, but because of the sweet fellowship.

 They both claimed to be believers with strong faith - I would hope so living the life they do sleeping outdoors on these cold nights.  The gal, Deborah, had shared that she almost died of heat stroke this past summer (I wonder why?) and that she had four children - all apparently living with her mom - who birthed a total of 17 children.  Her oldest sister passed away a year ago....... James was looking for work and was heading to Mobile, Alabama to take care of his ailing mother who is mentally challenged. Not sure if all of this is true....but does it matter?

 Like Mother Teresa, I am beginning to see things much differently given my own financial decline and needy state.  I knew in my heart that the lesson is/was to see Jesus in the most unlikely places - in the faces of those who by this world's standards - appear desperately hopeless.  She learned the powerful lesson of treating each person as though they were Jesus Himself......"When I was hungry - you fed me, when I was thirsty - you gave me a cup of cold water, when I was....." fill in the blank.  I'd say that the past few years have been a game changer for me.

Back to my friend and the black homeless man......I usually have cash on hand and reached into my pocket realizing I only had my credit card.  I considered going to my car, but......the fact that I didn't have cash on hand seemed like an easy "out".  How convenient.  I had this fleeting thought of running out to my car, but.....needed to finish my important life-changing conversation with my friend......

Anyways, I know it wasn't about the money, but about treating this man with dignity despite the fact that he smelled like urine and chances are he would probably blow whatever I gave him on who knows what........  The point wasn't the outcome - that's in God's hands - but on my response. But we so want to control the outcome.  We so try to figure out people's intentions and play out all the likely scenarios.....and miss God.

 I missed it big time and slowly began to feel the Lord's heart this morning gently reminding me of how vastly different is His perspective. His love never fails, never changes, and He gladly embraces the poor,the  broken, those who know their need. His love is unconditional and permamnent.  

I began to feel - not condemnation - but His sorrow over a missed opportunity. This life is not a formula or method. It's not about Christian principles - but about being Christ-like.  And hello? - We cannot do it without Him.  It is not even a "ministry opportunity" or any of those overused Christian catch phrases that make us feel "spiritual".  God's heart is in all of us regardless of our calling or giftings - so don't let that limit you.  Your inability is His ability...so insecurity will work for you....if you are open.  Get used to life being uncomfortable....it's called the Kingdom of God!

It is, however, a means to learn God's ways and most importantly - His heart (outside of Bible study).  But only if we are willing to risk and to touch the life of another human being in need.  Folks who are probably used to being ignored, made fun of and yes - even spit upon - as I learned happens frequently with the homeless.  Wow..... kinda sounds like someone else I know.....

I don't exactly know what I would have said or done differently, but I have been in this place of need and living by faith so often these days that I fully trust that God would have supplied what was "needed".  Life as I knew it spun way out of control a while back - and my economy already crashed and burned.  That makes for fertile soil for learning to live by faith. " Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose...."  Thank you Kris Kristofferson for those profound words of wisdom.

Still....I missed it.  If I had just stepped out, embraced the moment, and seen the seemingly unexpected interruption for what it truly was......a divine appointment.....yes, sorry, one of those overused cliches.  

Rewind..........I reach out my hand and place it on his shoulder saying, "Hello sir, what is your name?  Do you have family? What is your story?  Did you once have dreams?  Here is some money that will hopefully help fill your belly, but I think there are some deeper needs that I cannot fill.  But I know Someone who can........"  We don't need to "fix them" - that's God's job.  But maybe a few seeds would fall on good soil.  Maybe his final thoughts and breaths would be of this simple encounter. Why like Peter, did I "get it" one day, and not the next?  I am thankful that the Lord is a kind and patient teacher, though I can still somewhat picture Him saying what he said quite often to His disciples, "Are you so dull?"

With all my heart I know, that I know, that I know that God had some personal things to say to this man.   But I'll never know what those words were nor the joy of sharing God's compassion and hope with a soul desperately hungry for real life - and people who truly care about him - and not just about his circumstances. Yet He is the God of second chances!

 You see, the simple lesson is.... the Gospel really is Good News to those who have lost everything. The fact is there are many of “those kind of people” in our wallowing economy - and the number is growing.  They are people like you and I - who never thought it could happen to them.  All have a story if we are willing to listen. 


 And they, believe it or not, are the precious gems in God's seemingly upside-down Kingdom where the weak, lame, broken, unlearned, outcasts are raised up in His love and power to become unexplainable vessels of grace.

I know......I am one of them.  These lessons are hard, uncomfortable, and even sometimes painful - but they are "good" because they cause me to grow.  And no matter what happens or what people say, or how it looks on the outside, there are things God does in our hearts that no man can take away.  Hold on to these things because there will come a time when we cannot hold on to what is around us....the Kingdom of God is within - and He has overcome. 


Psalms 103:4-5 “Who redeems your life from the pit; Who crowns you with loving-kindness and compassion; Who satisfies your years with good things, [So that] your youth is renewed like the eagle.” 


Psalms 34:5 “Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.”