A Deep Well

I’ve been thinking a lot about a particular term Beth Moore once used to describe those who have walked through hell; the severe trials that either make or break us. While in the midst of the fire, we may not understand and in fact, we may beg and plead for God to remove the “thorn” or circumstances that are causing so much distress. But later, we realize that these very trials are what create a “deep well” from which to draw, and it was this term that really stood out to me.

I myself have questioned the ways of God and His intentions during the many times (including now) that I have had to plow through some really rough seasons; times where I felt completely helpless and alone. And every time I eventually end up on my knees asking tough questions of myself and of God, and crying out for understanding, for direction…..for comfort. And ultimately, I turned to God’s Word and dug deep. And you know what? He dug deeper still.

What does this mean?

 It simply means that God, in His love, is forging His way deep into my heart so that His thoughts, His desires, His love, and His presence is deeply rooted within my being. Maybe He is doing the same in you.....but you have not recognized it. You've only seen the pain and rejection and whatever else.  

But there is so much more, like, way, way more, if we are willing to see beyond the suffering.  You see, when we go through very difficult times and learn to trust in God's love despite conflicting messages, He then digs a “deep well” from which to draw living water to help satisy those who are walking through those barren places, who just need a hand to hold, a tangible sense of goodness and stability. We can then tap into that deep place and with something as simple as a touch or a look, convey a compassion that heals and a hope that prevails in the darkest times.

We can pull from these places where pain and heartbreak forged deep crevices in our souls. But it is not just our “shared experience” that touch and create a bond with the broken hearted; it is what fills those empty places that either smoothes them out, or leaves them jagged and rocky.

The latter happens when our hearts fill with the darkness of unresolved guilt, bitterness, and/or unforgiveness. And when you look into these eyes, you see mistrust, walls, doubt, and fear. Some even seem to say “Leave me alone, I‘ve got enough problems” or “I won’t let you hurt me”. Still some are filled with self pity, anger, rage, or even death. I remember comments made about the guy who recently shot Congresswoman Gabrielle Gifford; people said, even though he was smiling, his eyes looked “dead”. When a person is battered by life and does not believe in something higher that is “good and loving” and fully in control, then they can often take things into their own hands - to the detriment of themselves and others.

Yet when we choose to trust God and believe the best even when life serves us the worst, the well is dug deeper and filled with the good things of God

 Just the other day at Wal-Mart, I was waiting in line and when I got up to the checker, I asked, “How are you doing?” She began to tear up and proceeded to tell me that she was very sad today and missed her 18 year old son who had died. She said he had been killed in a car accident in 2009 - by a drunk driver . I simply said, “I am so sorry” and even though there were several people waiting in line, she began to cry. It was like a time warp, or one of those commercials where everyone else and everything else is in freeze-frame. I do not remember what I said and I am not even sure it matters. But for a moment in time in this crazy, busy life - this woman mattered.........

 her pain mattered.

I can’t tell you how many times this has happened to me at various stores or public places, people spilling their guts out, the hurt, confusion, or pain in arenas that most folks would typically keep their guard up. I want to say, "I didn't do it!" and that would be a true statement. I simply asked, "How are you doing?"  I honestly did not expect them to tell me - really.

For those looking for a formula - sorry. It wasn’t just because I looked them in the eye and with a kind look on my face, asked them how they were doing.  Nor was it due to using a soft and gentle tone or some disarming voice inflection. And it certainly was not because I am such a “special” person. No, when you are a deep well, others know it; they see it in your eyes and sense it in your presence. They don’t see a shallow, bubbling brook with pretty pebbles and soft green moss. They see something that spells “safe”, a depth of compassion and “knowing” that conveys, “You are not alone”.  They might even see a reflection of themselves in the light of something greater, and a hope that there is actually meaning in this sometimes meaningless life. No, I can’t take credit for this, nor can I deny that these are truly........

“God moments”.

I do not like the trials I have had to walk through these past several years. In fact I’ve hated it at times.  In modern day venacular:  It sucks.  I am slowly “getting it” though, and trusting there is a divine purpose in suffering.

 Years ago when I rather naively asked God for His heart and wisdom and to “do whatever it takes” to make me more like Him (stupid!), then it is quite reasonable (if not obvious) that the road He would choose to put me on would be filled with the same kind of things that made Jesus who He is; a deep well from which to draw…..life, healing, comfort, peace, hope, joy, gentleness, compassion - all of those beautiful intangibles that we so value in a world that often reflects the opposite. And I am truly grateful for that and for God’s continued presence in the fire.

Deep calls to deep in the roar of Your waterfalls

All of Your waves and breaker wash over me

Psalm 42:7

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
Isaiah 43:2