I am never quite sure what to write. And it seems the times I actually have the greatest inspiration to do so, I am in a place where I cannot write it down. Like when I am out walking or driving. So everything gets tucked away "somewhere" and if it is even worth writing about, I hope that God will bring it back to mind.
Those inspirational moments of inspiration remind me of working a crossword puzzle where suddenly the pieces start falling into place and you catch a glimpse of the bigger picture. All these random pieces begin to fall into place and "life" - or least part of it - just seems to make more sense. I pray for more of these moments. And I am writing now more out of obedience because.....water won't run unless you turn the faucet on. Even if it is somewhat muddied, I have to believe that at some point the water, if left running, will someday become clear.
Until then, here I am in a season of transition - which feels very much like a wilderness. I have good days and bad; times of hope and times I despair I'll ever get out of this pit. But these are all just feelings, thank God! Emotions are important, but they do not take precedent over the Truth and my faith. Feelings add color to my life, but my actions need to be based on things that will last.
And these dark times do not diminish the promises of God; in fact, His light burns brighter as the storm clouds slowly grow. My soul is in safe-keeping with the Lord as He has promised to never leave nor forsake me. I know many people have more tangible promises, but His word to me has always been about His presence more than His hand. When you live alone and especially when you are somewhat isolated by an illness, His presence is the only thing that matters.
At times I get overwhelmed with the cares of this life....finances, future, etc. Those things in and of themselves don't scare me. It's more my total inability to do anything about them. I don't even trust myself and the times it has been under my control, the results are not pretty. Well, actually, I could do a lot about these things, but I sense that in order to realize that God is truly in control, I need to surrender it all to Him; not just with words and heartfelt prayer, but in action. And if these actions are not motivated by the Holy Spirit and love, then they will amount to very little.
The waiting during these seasons is the hardest part because you feel so useless and unproductive. And it requires patience and trust. That goes against our western culture and Americanized Christianity that feeds off of busyness, self reliance, and touch-of-a-button technology. But that is another subject altogether. Suffice to say, we as Americans know very little about "waiting"; we are surrounded by gadgets that are all about quick answers that require little or no effort. So waiting is not in our vocabulary.
I am waiting on God. And His promise to me is that He will be with me and eventually, as I trust Him and believe His word, I will discover not only the hidden treasures of faith, but I will be a witness to and the benefactor of His miraculous love and power - that cannot be explained by any earthly imagination. His intervention will be real and permanent and amazing! And until then....I will walk securely in this place, because He will never leave or forsake me. I stake my life on it.
I know that one day I will see the glory of the Lord in the land of the living.
Those inspirational moments of inspiration remind me of working a crossword puzzle where suddenly the pieces start falling into place and you catch a glimpse of the bigger picture. All these random pieces begin to fall into place and "life" - or least part of it - just seems to make more sense. I pray for more of these moments. And I am writing now more out of obedience because.....water won't run unless you turn the faucet on. Even if it is somewhat muddied, I have to believe that at some point the water, if left running, will someday become clear.
Until then, here I am in a season of transition - which feels very much like a wilderness. I have good days and bad; times of hope and times I despair I'll ever get out of this pit. But these are all just feelings, thank God! Emotions are important, but they do not take precedent over the Truth and my faith. Feelings add color to my life, but my actions need to be based on things that will last.
And these dark times do not diminish the promises of God; in fact, His light burns brighter as the storm clouds slowly grow. My soul is in safe-keeping with the Lord as He has promised to never leave nor forsake me. I know many people have more tangible promises, but His word to me has always been about His presence more than His hand. When you live alone and especially when you are somewhat isolated by an illness, His presence is the only thing that matters.
At times I get overwhelmed with the cares of this life....finances, future, etc. Those things in and of themselves don't scare me. It's more my total inability to do anything about them. I don't even trust myself and the times it has been under my control, the results are not pretty. Well, actually, I could do a lot about these things, but I sense that in order to realize that God is truly in control, I need to surrender it all to Him; not just with words and heartfelt prayer, but in action. And if these actions are not motivated by the Holy Spirit and love, then they will amount to very little.
The waiting during these seasons is the hardest part because you feel so useless and unproductive. And it requires patience and trust. That goes against our western culture and Americanized Christianity that feeds off of busyness, self reliance, and touch-of-a-button technology. But that is another subject altogether. Suffice to say, we as Americans know very little about "waiting"; we are surrounded by gadgets that are all about quick answers that require little or no effort. So waiting is not in our vocabulary.
I am waiting on God. And His promise to me is that He will be with me and eventually, as I trust Him and believe His word, I will discover not only the hidden treasures of faith, but I will be a witness to and the benefactor of His miraculous love and power - that cannot be explained by any earthly imagination. His intervention will be real and permanent and amazing! And until then....I will walk securely in this place, because He will never leave or forsake me. I stake my life on it.
I know that one day I will see the glory of the Lord in the land of the living.
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